The adventures of steampunk/emo girl

Right now, I am probably not really steampunk, or emo. I am a crazy mix of a lot of random things. I have always been this way. A lot of the things i like actually come from other people. Someone introduces to me to one thing, and I find other things similar on my own.

I would love to dress up in steampunk style or emo style. Sadly, I am not the smallest of females. I joke that I am as big as Godzilla, but that isn't really true. (I am not that tall) Well, all jokes about my weight aside, yes I am on the heavier side.

I figured I would start a new blog. I am not sure why. I barely write in a lot of the other ones. Mainly because I don't think that I am very interesting. But this goes to a point I was going to mention in the last paragraph, but decided I didn't want to repeat myself.

Right now, I honestly am not happy with a lot of things in my life. Sometimes I just need a place to vent though. I am not sure if anyone will read this, and I honestly don't even care. I am just going to open this blog. Write what the hell I want, and not worry about what people say. (I say this sometimes too, and then I find I do worry what people say, or if people don't comment on things that can be easily accessed.) I am working on it though.

As sadly i can't afford therapy at the moment, I am going to try my darnest to get out the thoughts in my head somewhere, if here or in other outlets. That way when I am thinking more rationally I can evaluate them, and look at them, and try to figure out what is going on. Where these thoughts came from, if I can figure it out.

Sometimes thoughts always linger with me. No matter how many times I voice them, and find them not to be true. I argue with myself a lot about some things like crushes, and the like.

Sometimes I want to be in a relationship, and sometimes I just want a fling. Right now, whatever I decide to fall it is always about this one person at the moment. I tell myself we are friends, and then the next I find myself trying to push them out of my life, since I am sure they are so much better than me.

My mind is sadly more complicated than I would like. Or maybe nothing is as complicated as it seems, I just want to make things complicated. I don't know. It is hard to tell.

Anyway, for those who read so far... Hi... I may come back later and try to make a better intro, or I may not. It just depends on what happens